Sunday, August 26, 2012

Where do I stand now?

                We don’t express emotion in my family. We keep it to ourselves, bottle it up and create ulcers in our body. That is how my family deals with emotion. As a result my sisters and I did not learn how to express emotion with one another. We never told each other that we loved them or said how we enjoyed time with one another or talk about what is wrong with us. You would think 3 girls would lead to a very chatty house full on constant emotions. However we are the exact opposite of the stereotype. We hardly talk to one another, and are practically strangers. We don’t know what is going on in the extremities of each others life like siblings who grew up loving each other would.
               I have never told anyone I loved them and truly meant it except for one person. I am very guarded with my emotions and had vowed to not let anyone in and live a life alone. I broke that vow. I let someone in who I believed was it. I never thought I would find the ‘it’ but I did. I told him I loved him and he loved me too. We talked about kids, getting married and even house decorations. You’re probably thinking ‘weird’ hu? But I was taken away at the time and everything seemed like it was falling in place. He had an adorable son that I actually loved too. I remember being nervous the first time I met him because I didn’t know if you would like me. It took him a little to warm up to me because he was sleepy. I told him I loved him, but that didn’t last long. He left me, twice. Every time we meet up we end up attracted to one another again. I wonder how things would of turned out if I never left LA….
               But I’m not, and he’s still there and now there is someone else. All the promises made have been broken; all the proclamations of his love to me have been voided.  

Stiching together,

Sunday, August 12, 2012

If there are gods

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.
Marcus Aurelius
Found using stumbleupon

-Ms. D

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Chevron Fire (Richmond)

My roommate had to evacuate out apartment as our neighborhood filled with clouds of black smoke. She had to take refuge at a friends apartment in SF. While I knew my roommate was safe, what about all my students and their families that live even closer to the refinery than I do. Why are these refineries located near neighborhood of colored children. My students along with the rest of the citizens of Richmond were told of a shelter in place to avoid any contact with the cloud of god-knows-what. Why must my students and their families have to go through such scare? Why must they go through such injustices? The people of Richmond have a right to be angry and have their voices and concerns need to be heard.

That green arrow if where the refinery is located, the red dot is where my elementary school is located, and there are others that are closer! Tell me, how is this fair?

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The beginning of summer

I never enjoyed summer much during college, I enjoyed it more when I was in my k-12 education but I have to say I definitely enjoy it more as a teacher. It's a much needed breath of air. So what's the first thing I did.... I let my suppressed rebel breath! I dyed my hair blue. It brought me back to my college and high cool days where I could be free and express myself and hide myself through my vibrant hair color. I used Manic Panic's Voodoo.
Then I got bored with it and wanted some more pop and added another blue. I liked the outcome, but this color bled too much afterward and my hands and neck were always getting stained blue. Yup teachers are rebels too, we are complicated individuals that can't wait for summer vacation to start so we can outwardly do all the crazy things we normally keep inside.

Ms. D

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Looking for a distraction.

I haven't posted in a while, I'm still trying to get the hang of it but really that isn't an excuse. I'm going to try harder to write instead if keeping everything in. So I've been doing quite a bit since summer started so I'm going to post up some stuff that I've done. Maybe this will keep my mind and heart at bay.....