when part of you is dying

Something is reaching in
it pulls out my slow beating heart.
I don't need it anymore.
Tears continue to flow,
a life of misery begins.

Robot Rock

numb

I have thoughts in my head that are just constantly circulating, never getting to a resolutions, never making a discovery, never improving. I'm tired or thinking about it but it just keeps coming back into thought no matter how much I try to push it out. I hate it.  It's a problem I can't solve, I can't get around. I don't have the solution and it's killing me. I've become numb.

Dying soul

My soul is slowly draining away, I don't know how to tell the one I love that I don't care about monetary things.

I don't care if a person is able to support me financially or buy me fancy things. I am far from a materialistic girl what I want you cannot buy. I want a person who can love me for who I am, a person who is not intimidated by my independence, intelligence or success. I want a person who can love me for me.

I found my love, but I don't know how to ensure him that this is who and what I want. I don't want him to contemplate over not being able to support me, money doesn't buy happiness.

When we are at our best there is no "pants" of the relationship because we complement each other (at least that's what I feel). Lately we are not at our best. I don't know how to support him because he doesn't allow me to. Or maybe I just don't know how. This is why I feel as if I am slowly dying, I take no comfort in what I do through out the day. We haven't talked or seen each other and I miss him. It has reached a point that my mind feels that it is in shambles.

I don't want to call anymore or text, I feel that now I have become a nuisance because I am not doing anything to help him in the situation he is in.

This is why my soul is draining, because my heart no longer feels.

Ms. D