contemplating.

Last year I made a good friend, I see him as a brother and as someone who looks out for me. The last time we went out together though he tried to put the moves on me. I just kind of brushed it off and I've kinda been keeping my distance since then.

-Ms.D

Someone once told me that dreams where the voice of your subconscious, in my personal experience my dreams have turned into reality in more that a handful of times.

It has been some time since I thought about him, mostly I've been focusing on myself or at least trying to. However, my conscious life has been filled with exes trying to clamor back into my life. I do not give people second chances since all of my relationships have ended and in not so good circumstances. So I do not trust them not to do the shady things they have done to me in the past.

Anyways my dream took place in LA with my family and my extended family, I apparently adopted one of my students and thus had a son.  I also had a baby boy but I couldn't remember what I named him, he was light skin and had blue-grey eyes and I could feel his warmth.

-feeling weird
Ms.D

Different routes of life.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and take a less responsible route in life. I wonder why I am responsible, why do I work hard....Why is it that I didn't choose and easier path in life that doesn't ask so much from me…but would I be satisfied? 

Ms. D

feeling like some....

going "home"

I spent my thanksgiving break with my family in Los Angeles but being there brought back so many memories that hurt.  I was great seeing my family but house if full of so many memories and things that happened this summer that kept coming into my head making me sad all over again. As I spent the week there and moved about more memories came up as I passed places.

I don't know if i will be able to go back to Los Angeles when I am done with my third year teaching over here in the Bay. I might just stay up here and try to forget it all and start over by myself.

-a tearful Ms.D

I see the further unfailing before me.

The path is clearing with a road that I must travel. My unconscious efforts have created a future that has me pondering with uncertainty. Second guessing myself in every aspect of life, what kind of person will I become? I am not sure how I envision myself in the future . I only had one part work out ---  a small house with a garden and a husky -- this was shot to hell to say the least.  I wish to be free and disconnect myself from the world but the responsibilities and pedestals I have been placed on are caging me in. I am uncertain of what I want to be, should I fill the shoes of the prodigy that they envision me as? Doing so would mean a great change would come to the world of education.  Am I  just being selfish in even contemplating this?

Ms. D

Very catchy.

-Ms. D